Competence is one of many tools that help us achieve our goals. Competence is what lets a person stay on track and know how to respond accordingly in adverse situations. Competent people are able to overcome internal and external obstacles that may hinder them from accomplishing their goals. Competence helps children stay on task without letting emotions affect them in a negative way.
For adults, competence is a prerequisite to attain personal success, while for children, it means being able to deal with emotional challenges to accomplish their tasks, master them, and grow with confidence. Competent children possess emotional intelligence which allows them to manage themselves, as well as get along with others because they feel capable and powerful. Additionally, they are more likely to believe in themselves and try difficult challenges; and as a result, they will show resilience when they experience failures.
Here are tips on raising competent children:
Let them Decide on their Own
When it comes to their hairstyles, the meals they eat, and the clothes they wear, children should be taught how to make their own choices. This helps them learn how to think on their own, as well as determine their preferences. These are some age-appropriate choices that children should make for themselves to develop confidence and decision making skills. Keep in mind that this does not mean you are abandoning your children; just stand by, be ready to help them, and give them proper encouragement.
Encourage Them and Teach Self-Encouragement
Everyone needs encouragement. Encouragement not only makes your little ones feel positive and motivated, but it will also give your children an inner voice that will help them encourage themselves. Provide them with mottos that they can repeat as mantras when things get tough. So if your child is experiencing difficulties, they will need an internal comforting voice that will motivate them to keep trying.
Don’t Control, Start Coaching
In a game, coaches teach and help children develop skills but the children play the game. As a parent, it is your duty to support your child. Help them develop all the necessary skills for them to flourish. Avoid doing things for them since this will rob them of the opportunity to be competent. Instead of doing things for them, complete activities together; allow them to make mistakes. Let them learn from their mistakes and let them learn how to do things right. To achieve this, you will need to manage your anxiety and worries by letting go of your need to control.
Another thing you must explain to your children is that no one succeeds at everything all the time. Teach them how to handle disappointments and take this as a learning opportunity instead of dwelling on failures. Let them know that failures and criticisms do not define their success in the future. Let them know that success is usually just a matter of practice. Knowing this they will learn how to trust themselves and they will not give up on their goals.
Praise Efforts Instead of Results
When praising the results of your children’s accomplishments, remember that you are not telling them that they are great in what they do. Instead, you are evaluating their work, which will make them end up looking for others’ approval. It’s not about the product, but the efforts they gave to come up with the results. As a parent, you definitely want them to try, practice, improve, and learn that hard work will always pay off.
Play and Learn Together
Playing and learning with your children is an important factor that you shouldn’t oversee since it plays an important role in teaching your children how to be determined. It is one of your jobs as a parent to spend time with your children, whether they are playing or when they do their homework. This will make them feel that you’re giving support, which motivates them to do their best in what they’re doing.
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